beer and fireworks to the sound of the anthem

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  beer and fireworks to the sound of the anthem

do you remember american dad? Yes, that series in which an agent of the American government stood out more for her worrying chin than for her achievements on the battlefield. It was funny to watch Stan’s life, but there was nothing more morale-boosting than watching that intro that brimmed with patriotism.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never set foot in California in my life, but it’s starting to hear the first bars of the United States anthem and I come out on top. Therefore, my confidence was placed in GTA Online this week, since Independence Day has been the beacon that has shown us the way.

A good American

If something taught us Tom Cruise in born on the 4th of july is that being a patriot is the greatest service you can render to your country. No matter what kind of mental, physical and social consequences you suffer later, the satisfaction lies in the fact that you gave it your all. With that mindset in mind, I took a look at what’s new with Rockstar these days.

I find myself stunned when I find that such an important date barely hosts some succulent races and discounts. No large-scale event, no parades through Los Santos… it’s time to settle for being first when you reach the finish line. For this reason, I am preparing myself for four non-urban circuits, but totally and absolutely feral.

The first one puts me in the Blaine area and I can choose from a motley selection of vehicles that only uncle Billy would drive to the liquor locks. The Liberator, a substitute for the monster trucks of a lifetimewill be my travel companion wearing flags, decorations and all kinds of elements that make it clear why we are in the best nation on the face of the Earth.

GTA Online

At the first change I put myself in the lead and everything is very simple when you don’t have to engage gears like the lucky Europeans do. Why don’t we go on dirt roads? It doesn’t matter, apart from the fact that later I’ll have to take the car to be washed to get out the five or six squirrels that I’ve crushed.

Seeing the advantage I get, I decide to use Rebel Radio, listening to the most classic local country. What I liked the most of all the sections carried out is to make it clear that the climate change joke has to end completely. I have not noticed any problem destroying everything that was put in front of me and I have laughed in the face of Greenpeace with the greatest contempt.

In one of the races at Lake Zancudo I decided to go with a Dune, which is one of the trucks that teams take to NASCAR competitions. A tremendous behemoth, hey, and with less stability than US foreign policy. In the end, I finished last for the same reason the US lost the Vietnam War: the rice paddies.

See if I support the national industry, which on the lap around Mount Josiah I take to run a Dubasta, which sports six wheels on each side. Sometimes I wonder what would the rubber sector do without meBut one detail surprises me. We are taking curves absolutely all the time, which is absolute nonsense.

GTA Online

Where are my beloved infinite lines? What’s next, put roundabouts? I calm down because I’m able to pick up the tune on Blaine County Talk Radio as they talk about how to run the country. Authorized voices, plural and with a sense of the State. It is not the same sense that I see in the last race with Sovereign motorcycles by the Alamo Sea lake.

Yes, they are beautiful, but these races lack a lot of challenge. More spicy, more attractive, more patriotic for God. I decide to take the bike with me because it’s free this week and I’m leaving it at the Black Hole biker club. At least it’s a beauty wrapped in the american flag.

a true patriot

seeing that GTA Online has decided that my Independence Day is restricted, I’m going to put it together on my own. Be careful, you are not reading a trashy patriot and I can prove it to you. Eight years ago, on the first national day in multiplayer, I did my homework and recorded it. There goes the proof. Trucos y guías de los videojuegos más populares de pc, ps4, xbox, wii, android o iphone Trucos y guías de videojuegos

The hymn sung by Whitney Houston during the 1991 Super Bowl, the musket firing salvos, the fireworks… a ritual that I intend to repeat eight years later. To do this, the first thing is to dress in the traditional clothes of the 4th of July.

I go to a local store and I am pleased to see that Rockstar has taken care to lower taxes on all American products. This is how it should be, supporting our trade. The pack I get is the following:

  • Tailcoat of stars for 2,950 dollars.

  • Blue Patriot T-shirt for $610.

  • Star flag vest for $1,675.

  • White vest shirt for $235.

  • Blue top hat for $2,424.

  • Wide-striped chinos for $1,200.

  • Striped slip-on shoes for $1,390.

  • Face paint for $12,500.

  • Musket for $7,500.

  • US Anthem 1 for $7,500.

That is, a total of $37,984 to look like another American. Carrying the musket is a reminder of why the English came to conquer half the world with it and that we can be more arrogant than them. Next step, go to the store, get an indecent amount of Piswasser beers and climb Mount Chiliad.

GTA Online

I borrow her Sandking in Blaine from a lady and it’s clear to me that I’m on the hard side of the map. And it is that far from being intimidated, the woman decides to start punishing my kidneys, a very typical response of the area where Trevor lives. Mind you, not even she is able to withstand a tomahawk to her temple.

It starts to rain, making the ground muddy, but I don’t have a luxury SUV for a reason. Rebel Radio is the only company I need and the laughter comes when I see that there are hikers in the 21st century. What we were missing, climbing a gigantic mountain on foot when you can take advantage of all the mechanics invented by human beings while sitting down.

After a good stretch of climbing, I decide to take a break 1.5 kilometers from the top. It’s time to try not one, but up to 9 beers at once. Without rest, let the liver find out who’s in charge here. I regain strength with the cost that I start to see blurry, I hardly hear anything and the direction of the steering wheel begins to do strange things.

The disastrous stealth of GTA Online has crushed me Cayo Perico: I believed Solid Snake and I haven't smelled a single gold ingot

Some policeman would tell me that I should leave the steering wheel, although I usually answer that And who told you that I want you to drive for me?. Goal achieved, I’m on top of GTA OnlineI park next to the cable car in a prohibited area and start the ritual.

I don’t know what happens that as soon as I launch fireworks with the pyrotechnics cannon, the tourists start screaming and leaving in terror. A null patriotic sense, of course. After this small tribute to the United States, I decide to end my adventure.

It’s been one of the saddest Independence Days I can remember, but it doesn’t always rain to the liking of all Republicans. At least I console myself with receiving $200,000 for the promotion of completing all four races. They will surely come in handy for me pay the hospital bill after falling down Mount Chiliadthe health system does not stand alone.

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